Bloomington Family Lawyer

Bloomington Family Lawyer

How to Deal With a Difficult Ex-Spouse

If your ex-spouse is being difficult after the divorce, know that you’re not alone. The lawyers at Pioletti & Pioletti see many ex-spouses have ill feelings toward each other. While it might seem impossible to be civil with your ex-spouse, understand that you can take certain steps to make the situation better. Here is some advice on how to deal with a difficult ex-spouse:

Give Yourself 24 Hours Before Responding to Your Ex’s Messages

If your ex-spouse sends you nasty email or voicemail, it’s tempting to give him or her a piece of your mind. However, you should avoid doing this. Screaming and yelling at your ex-spouse will just make you angrier and give your ex-spouse undeserved attention. Instead, allow 24 hours to go by before responding to your ex’s messages. This will give you time to calm down and think about what you actually should say.

Avoid Putting Your Children in the Middle

One of the worst things you can do is put your children in the middle of you and your ex-spouse’s problems. This will make them feel extremely uncomfortable. No matter what, avoid speaking poorly about your ex in front of your kids. Continue to reassure them that both you and your ex-spouse love them dearly and want the best for them.

Limit Face-to-Face Contact

If you and your ex-spouse have difficulties speaking to each other without getting into fights, it may be best to limit face-to-face meeting as much as possible. If you have to talk to your ex about something, try to do it through the phone or email.

Realize That You Can’t Change Your Ex-spouse

It can be extremely frustrating dealing with a difficult ex-spouse after your divorce. He or she disagrees with everything you say, screams at you for no reason and is generally miserable to be around. While it would be nice to be able to change your ex-spouse’s ways, understand that it isn’t realistic. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can move on.

Focus on Yourself

It’s easy to talk and think about ex-spouse right after you get divorced. However, this can be emotionally draining and prevent you from living a happy life. It’s better to focus your efforts on improving yourself and making yourself happier.

Consider Talking to a Therapist

If you are having trouble getting over your ex-spouse or dealing with his or her actions, you may want to think about speaking with a professional therapist. A counselor can help you come to terms with your issues with your ex so that you can move on.

Putting up with a difficult ex isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. If you have any additional questions about dealing with your ex-spouse, the lawyers at Pioletti & Pioletti can help. We have dealt with dozens of cases similar to yours and are ready to assist you. Call us to schedule a meeting.

When a Spouse Violates an Order of Protection

If you were being abused by your partner or felt you were truly at risk of suffering abuse, you might now have an order of protection in place to prevent him or her from contacting you. In Illinois, there are multiple types of order of protection, each of which is designed for specific circumstances. But they all serve the same purpose: to protect individuals from suffering from physical, sexual, and psychological abuse at the hands of their intimate partners.

If an individual named in an order of protection violates that order, he or she is subject to criminal charges. Discuss these with your Bloomington family lawyer before you take action against your former partner.

What Are My Options?

You have two options if your former partner violates the order of protection you have in place. They are:

  • Contact the civil court to have the judge enforce your order of protection. The court can require that he or she avoid contacting you in person or electronically, that he or she surrender any firearms he or she owns, that he or she remain an allotted distance away from you, your home, your place of work, and any other property you own at all times, or that he or she only contact you for peaceful, necessary purposes like the transfer of your child for his or her parenting time.   
  • Filing a police report. If your former partner is charged with a crime, such as stalking or intimidation, he or she could face criminal penalties. These penalties can include fines and jail time. He or she might also face issues with his or her parenting time agreement.

Issues to Consider with Your Order of Protection

If you had an order of protection issued in another state, that order of protection should be valid in other states. Check with your Bloomington family lawyer to make sure your order is valid in the state you are in now if it was originally issued by another state. To prove its validity, keep a copy of the order with you at all times. If you need to prove to police that you have an order of protection in place, you can make use of this document.

An order of protection created in Illinois is also valid if you move to another state. If you move out of Illinois, inform the local law enforcement in your new town of your order of protection so they are aware of it in the event they need to enforce it.

Work with a Dedicated Bloomington Family Lawyer

If your former partner violates the order of protection you have in place to keep yourself safe from him or her, call the police immediately. You have the right to feel safe and protect yourself from abuse at a former partner’s hands. To handle the legal issues that can arise with your order of protection or other issues regarding your divorce, contact our team of experienced Bloomington family lawyer at Pioletti & Pioletti to schedule your free legal consultation with our firm. We can represent your case in court and help you reach a safe, productive resolution for your case. Turn to Pioletti & Pioletti when you need a family lawyer in Bloomington that you can trust.


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